It's not that I had a bad relationship with people, but I get too attached to them. Even when they left for good, I feel extremely sad. I felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone. I get too attached with memories. Remember when I was in the first year in university. I spent my days missing my best friends. I called them almost everyday, I couldn't let them go. I got frustrated when they didn't reply my texts, I got sad when they didn't pick up the calls until one day, my friend told me ;
" We need to understand that we are now have grown up, we have our own dreams to achieve. Don't worry, friends will still be friends, but people change. The situation now is different. We are not in high school anymore. We can still go out together few times a year, I promise.."
So, it was just a part of growing up. I decided to not get too attached with anyone. I prefer to do things alone. I thought I was doing well, I can reduce that chance of being hurt by losing people around me, but guess what? It destroys me even worse.
And I did thought my love towards Him was strong enough, but I keep blaming myself for being such a loser.
"Kalau kita orang Islam, kita takkan tanya kenapa semua perkara ni berlaku. Sebab semua ni kerja Tuhan. Allah yang menentukan segala-galanya."
"Redha. Rezeki Allah yang bagi, bukankah manusia perlu yakin dengan Dia? Sebab itu, tetapkan hati dengan Allah".
-- #Equation // Mr. Apis